On the First Day of Christmas

a) “A Charlie Brown Christmas” by Vince Guaraldi Trio
This is the exception to the rule when people say, “I hate jazz.” It's one of the most delightful arrangement of songs ever. From the opening notes of “O Tannenbaum,” I get giddy, legitimately flibbertigibbety. This album only has mild associations in my head with the television special, which is equally as amazing (more on that later in the month), so there must be something in the music that gets me pumped-up for Christmas more than those inflatable Santas people put in front of their houses. I couldn't tell you what that “something” is, but just listen to “Christmas Time Is Here” and try not to feel a general impression of jolliness (or a hankering to watch Arrested Development to watch Michael Cera slink off, depressed).


b) “The Christmas Episode” from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
I can't explain why I love Studio 60 so much. I wanted to be a sketch comedy writer when it came out and with Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford spouting Sorkin dialogue about scribing satirical television, I guess I was suckered in from the start.


But there's something magical about this Christmas episode that made me show it to my family a couple of years ago. It takes place following Hurricane Katrina without feeling exploitative or preachy about the good will of men. At its core, the episode is about hope and rebuilding, without feeling heavy-handed. Christmas would be the season to excuse such a thing, if it needed it.

c) Christmas lights
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, along with Christmas. It is, partially because I get such joy out of scaring children, but also because I love seeing people go bat-shit insane with their houses. The most twisted, grotesque lawns in the neighborhood fascinate me. There is a special creativity exhibited during the month of October only rivaled by the month of December. Ghouls turn to gingerbread men, corpses to candy canes. Fear turns to joy. As strange as it sounds, I thrive off of both of these emotions.


I never thought of how strange the concept of Christmas lights was until Jim Gaffigan pointed out how backwards the whole holiday was: “Let's take all these lights, put them out there. Chop down that tree, bring it in here. I just... I really need to get a job!” It's one of those bizarre traditions that doesn't really make sense (think bunnies and Easter), but the holiday wouldn't feel complete without it.


Every Christmas Eve, I make my mom drive around the neighborhood with the family to look at the Christmas lights. I know she loves it about as much as any chauffeur would, but it's one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Houses are just boring, so why not illuminate them with tiny multicolored bulbs in the spirit of giving?