Monday, December 17, 2012

On the Sixteenth Day of Christmas

a) “Let It Snow” by Her Space Holiday
Total reimaginings of traditional songs can end up with weird, unnerving, and downright offensive covers. No one needs to hear a 15-minute version of “Winter Wonderland” played entirely by sitars overlapped with the lyrics spoken in Pig Latin, a half-beat off. (But if anyone actually made that song, I would totally give it the benefit of the doubt and listen all the way through.)

Her Space Holiday has done some interesting and satisfying covers in the past—my favorite being a new take on Wolf Parade's “I'll Believe In Anything”—and their version of “Let It Snow” is certainly different, especially how it quickly morphs into a sing-chant of “All I Want For Christmas.” But I really like it. It's teeming with the joy of the holiday season and an attitude that “we can do anything with this song.” Cool beans, man.


b) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Yes, I'm so glad that Chevy Chase thought Community was so beneath him, but a couple of quick Old Navy commercials reuniting some of the Christmas Vacation cast was a more acceptable brand of comedy.

Maybe I'm just bitter.

I really have nothing wrong with the movie itself. Sure, Chevy's kind of an ass now and Randy Quaid is crazy, but what comes between the title screen and the ending credits is a funny, enjoyable movie. The first time I saw this movie was in my ninth grade social studies class, the day before Christmas break. Since Mr. Russell didn't feel like teaching us anything about geography or government that day, we got to watch the movie how any high school shows a movie with cursing—the volume abruptly turned down at specific times to avoid tainting our virgin ears to the atrocities of profanity. That is, until one “shit” or “fuck” accidentally slips and the teach, feet propped up in the back of the room says, “Eh, you guys don't mind, do you?” We'll sheepishly confirm, so as to watch the movie, unedited, for the rest of class.

Oh, right, I haven't actually said anything about this movie yet. Well, using the Pledge of Allegiance as Christmas grace, electrocuting a cat, and lubing the bottom of a sled are exactly the kinds of gut-busting hilarity that make me wonder what the current National Lampoon staff thinks their doing.

“Van Wilder 5: College, uh... Something” should be out soon. Stoked!

This movie brims with quality and relatable Christmas humor and does it fantastically well. The dad who wants the best display on the block hits home with so many people. The grandparents who aren't quite there provide great lines while adding a subtext of cringing familiarity. And that sled scene might be over-the-top and cartoonish in ways that movies seem to be afraid of these days, but dammit if I didn't want to try it myself.

c) Ornaments
So now you've cut down a tree (or had someone do it for you). You've gotten into your house and propped up in your living room. It's not enough to just decorate this tree with strings of tiny colorful lights. No, you have to hang delicate glass balls and cheap souvenirish knick-knacks from the branches, too.

I don't understand the point of ornaments (pornaments, on the other hand...). Don't get me wrong, I get few greater joys than from decorating our tree every year, but it's one of those traditions I take part in without really knowing why (like crossing your fingers when lying or going to the dentist twice a year). Is there anything remotely religious about hanging official Harry Potter merchandise off of the tannenbaum? Would Santa Claus be offended by the evil depiction of him stuffing a child into his sack? (Both real ornaments on our tree this year, by the way.)

Who decided that a pine tree would make a good template for a hanging collage of family interests and pictures? It's true that you can tell a lot about a family from what's on their tree:
  • Lots of macaroni ornaments = the kids were cute when they brought those home from school.
  • Ornaments promoting five different beer brands = daddy has a bit of a problem.
  • Tinsel = poor. Seriously, why even bother decorating the tree at all?
Well, our tree is packed this year and I wouldn't have it any other way. A full Christmas tree means a family full of love. And that Step-Aunt Marge couldn't think of anything to get the family five years in a row.

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